How Past Experiences Shapes His Own: Wei's Brush with Legacy Planning

How does being gay and in a long-distance polyamorous relationship impact one’s legacy planning journey in Singapore? Wei's brief brush with legacy planning following his father’s passing had inspired him to think a little more about planning for his own future. The legal implications for unconventional relationships such as Wei’s would undoubtedly result in a more arduous process, leaving him with heavy considerations as he plans just how he intends to leave his legacy.

“Nobody thought it would have been cancer,” Wei says. “Once there was that diagnosis, we

already had a bit of pre-planning going on.”

The onset of cancer marked the start of the family’s legacy planning journey for Wei’s father.

As his father’s departure drew closer, Wei begins to see his efforts come to fruition.

“No doubt it was a bit emotional towards the end,” he says. “We would like to think that his plans were all realised.”

We have options. You should do it as should I.”


Having experienced legacy planning first-hand, Wei believes that it is time for him to start making plans for the future. “I think we take it for granted very often,” he says. “I feel it is veryimportant for us to be super explicit. I think a lot of things that we want to do, if you’re in the LGBTQ+ community can still be done.” 

Being in a long-distance polyamorous relationship, Wei has to factor in multiple obstacles and how that would impact his planning. “If I were in a longer committed relationship or if I have an adopted child, then that would really ring a lot of alarm bells,” he says. “You really need to be mindful and aware of what you can do, and what you would like to do and how you can go about doing it.”

Although a default is set in place, Wei recalls that the majority of the LGBTQ+ have unique circumstances that require specific planning. “People need to be on top of their game on this,” he says. “You really have to draw up actual legal documents, if not the default will kick in.”

 This encouraged Wei to carefully consider what he would want to leave behind for his partner and his family. “My partner and I are quite financially independent of each other,” he says. “It’d be more like personal affects and if he would want to attend my funeral, I would want to support him financially if he needs it.”

Wei hopes that members of the community will be encouraged by his story, knowing full well that there are plenty of options available for the LGBTQ+. “There are avenues, there are resources, and there are people you can talk to about this,” he says. “Just start the ball rolling. Once you start, it’s not so scary after all.”